Day 1478: Second Seder

We hosted tonight’s seder. I decided to use our wedding china and crystal because we haven’t used them in years—and if not now, when? The centerpiece (read: blossom covered branch off our tree) was K’s idea, and I quite like the effect.

We still don’t have a seder plate. I’m actually really not sure why we never registered for one before our wedding. We got five chanukiyot (aka menorahs) but no seder plate. Weird.

Anyhow, I picked up a reusable plastic seder plate at the supermarket yesterday morning, and today E, K, and I played around with some of the coloured marbles from the B’nai mitzvah decor. I added some text around the rim using alef-bet stickers I bought at a craft store in Jerusalem. We ended up with this:

Maybe instead of passing on an heirloom seder plate one day, I’ll pass on the tradition of making a new one every year or two.

I also tried to update the family haggadah I made in 2013. I learned something about exporting a slideshow to be printed (use pixels as the unit of measurement and enlarge the image.) What I didn’t learn, apparently, was the lesson about doing things in advance instead of the day of. Our newly minted haggadot were missing the second cup of wine entirely. Don’t worry, though—someone with the older version of the book alerted us, so no cups were skipped.

I definitely need practice hosting seders, though. My mum has done it for so many years that everything just goes smoothly, and I take that for granted; my home isn’t quite the well-oiled machine that my parents’ house is. I don’t have all the right equipment in my Passover kitchen yet. Next year I’m going to need a bigger soup pot… and a lot more serving dishes. Oh… and more guests, I suppose.

Day 1477: Ready?

The counters have been covered…

The pantry has been stripped and cleaned…

The meal planning and shopping are done…

And we’ve picked and arranged plum blossoms for decorations.

Chag Pesach Kasher V’Sameach! Happy Passover!

Day 1475: On the Train

True to form, I forgot to write this blog post until twenty minutes before the train arrives in Toronto.

I’m not really sure what to say about our time in Montreal; after all, we were there for a funeral. It was mostly what you’d expect from a funeral.

This morning Mr. December’s friend drove us to a restaurant for breakfast where I found that they’ve been expecting me: there’s an entire menu section called “The Indecisive,” which is exactly how I feel every time we go out for breakfast. There are just too many choices. Sweet? Savoury? Omelette? Benedict? Can’t I just have a little bit of everything? Yes, today’s menu whispered, yes you can.

It was probably the best breakfast I’ve had in a very long time. I filled up on fluffy lemon-ricotta pancakes ad spectacular breakfast potatoes, which was a shame because only an hour later we were meeting our cousins at the legendary Snowdon Deli.

R and I are the only two going home tonight. We’ve been watching Brooklyn 99, reading, and enjoying the complimentary beverages (in other words, pretty much a Saturday night chez nous.)

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And now we’re home. Living this close to the subway really is fabulous. From the train to our house was thirty-five minutes including waiting for the subway, and best of all… no traffic!

Now I need to wrap my brain around the orchard tours I’m giving tomorrow; then back home for Passover preparations.

Day 1472: Another Thing

I feel like the last month has been just one thing smushed up against another: the B’nei Mitzvah, then the dance festival, which was followed by a fibro flare… and then the inhaled Zoloft which necessitated a day in the ER… and then a lot more driving because E’s school was moved to a temporary location (farther away from our home) while the restoration crew is cleaning the classrooms up from the flood. And through it all, our fabulous nanny has been absent for her own family emergency. It’s been nearly four weeks since we’ve had her here.

Apparently we’re not done yet. Mr. December, R, and I are going to Montreal tomorrow afternoon for a funeral (Mr. December’s aunt, whom R and I visited last time we were in Montreal.) I’ll be coming back late Saturday night with R. We have Orchard Stewardship on Sunday morning, followed by a community event at which I’m giving tours of the orchard. After that, we have roughly 20 hours to get rid of all the chametz, clean for Passover, and turn over the whole kitchen (take non-Passover dishes, cutlery, and tools downstairs; bring Passover stuff upstairs.)

And then it’s Passover. We’re hosting the second Seder, the theme of which will be “Dayenu” (enough.) Just kidding—the theme of our Seders is always the same: “They tried to kill us, they failed, let’s eat.”

Is there something else right around the corner after the Seders? Of course there is! Mr. December and R are going to Spain for a couple of weeks. I am not. I plan to spend those couple of weeks doing as little as humanly possible (I assume you’ll be reading along to find out how that pans out.)

Anyhow, the pace of life right now feels too fast. Does anybody else miss the slow, almost comatose, pace of COVID-era living?

No? Just me?

Day 1453: Just a Little Busy

Here’s what I did today:

• Took R shopping for tights to go with her Bat mitzvah dress.
• Practiced the Torah readings with the kids
• Detangled and trimmed E’s hair
• Detangled and trimmed N’s hair
• Assembled the centerpieces (with help)
• Printed, then applied, stickers for the take-home favours
• Made challah
• Edited and commented on N and R’s d’var Torah (speech about the portion they’re reading)
• Put the laundry in the washer, then into the dryer (darnit, I forgot to take it out…)
• Started packing crates of whatever we need to take with us to shul on Monday (or drop off on Sunday)

So I know that I’ll be forgiven for not writing any fabulous posts right now.

Day 1449: What it’s really about

I am not a morning person.

That’s not to say I don’t like early mornings—I do, very much—but I can almost never wake up early without painful consequences. There are only a few things I get up early for, flights being one of them. As of today, communal prayer is another.

We went to the weekday morning minyan at the shul where the b’nai mitzvah will be (it’s the shul that’s attached to the kids’ school.) Even though we’re doing a private service later in the morning, the proceedings are pretty much the same, and we wanted the kids to have a better sense of what to expect.

(To answer the question at least some of you are asking: yes, they do regular morning services at school. But school services often cut out some things, focusing on the main prayers. This can be a bit confusing the first couple of times a kid attends a full service.)

If it weren’t for the fact that early mornings aren’t good for me, I’d go to weekday minyan more often. I really enjoyed being there with the kids, and it felt good to be focusing on what the Bar and Bat Mitzvah are really about—the obligations and privileges of Jewish adults.

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We’re having fun with the other stuff, too. I don’t want to spoil any of the details before the event (there will be plenty of time for all my DIY posts after the fact,) but how pretty is this? It was definitely worth the extra ten minutes to sort the candies by colour first.

Day 1448: Another Purim

In the end, we made hamentaschen out of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough, Oetker lemon pie filling, and raspberry jam. None of us was feeling well yesterday (except for poor E, who was bummed to be staying home,) but this morning Mr. December and I (in costume, of course) took E to the shul across the road for a family-friendly megillah reading and carnival (E’s bestie was there.)

E got a mishloach manot bag from one friend, and we also got a package from the shul where N and R’s b’nei mitzvah will be. So I guess it felt a bit like Purim after all.

We’re in the home stretch: the B’nei Mitzvah is a week from tomorrow. I’ll probably spend most of the week getting things ready, although if I think about it there’s probably only about eight hours of work left to do.

Day 1446: It’s Spring!

I mean, the calendar says it’s spring… it just didn’t notify the weather department. The kids are outside trying to build an igloo out of fluffy snow. Good luck, kids.

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A lovely side effect of this snowfall is that tomorrow’s orchard tours are cancelled. It’s awfully convenient—almost like the universe knew I needed to do less.

Now, in the spirit of doing less… we’re doing pajama Shabbat tonight. Challah, wine, chicken soup, kugel, and nothing else. Shabbat Shalom!

Day 1445: Why is this Purim different?

Here’s an interesting conundrum:

In order to protect my health and keep myself feeling well, I need to say “no” to anything I can right now. With Purim in a couple of days and nothing really prepared, it’s safe to say I won’t be making mishloach manot to send to friends and family this year. Most years I spend at least ten hours planning, shopping, and putting everything together, and another few hours driving around to deliver the packages.

Not doing mishloach manot definitely saves me a lot of time and effort, so it should help ease the burden, right? Well, yeah, except for the fact that it might just be my favourite thing about Purim. I love getting creative with the theme and presentation, and the kids and I have made a fun outing of deliveries every year. But not this year.

So on the one hand, I’m doing less. But on the other hand, I’m a little sad about doing less. It’s physically positive and emotionally negative, but I’m not really sure yet which side outweighs the other.

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I actually had a moment of idiocy this morning at No Frills, when I got it in my head that Purim was starting tonight (we had thought we had time before Sunday to take the kids shopping for candy to give their friends.) The kosher aisles had all been turned over for Passover (brown paper lining the shelves and all the Passover products already set out,) and there was no Purim candy to be found. I ended up in the “school snacks” aisle looking for things that were sufficiently candy-like; I found some “fruit snacks” (aside from the name, I’m not sure there’s much fruit involved) and mini cookies in little packets. I brought it all home for the kids, and they spent this evening assembling packages for their friends.

Mr. December took a look at the table strewn with paper bags and candies and said, “Why are we even doing this? I thought you were cutting back on doing things this year!” I reminded him that it’s not actually me doing anything (except the shopping, which was part of my usual grocery shopping.) He grudgingly agreed, but was still pretty grumpy about the whole thing (I think he just doesn’t like having all this candy around, but it’s not sticking around this house to be eaten, and besides, it’s Purim—deal with it.)

So Purim is less of a thing this year than in the past. Maybe one year I’ll find a way to do it without wearing myself out. I’m trying to find ways of making it easier, like using refrigerated sugar cookie dough to make hamentaschen instead of making it from scratch. I’ll let you know how successful that experiment is.

Day 1429: Home Again

Now that I’m back in the flow of our day-to-day at home, I realize how relaxed I was in Saskatoon. It’s not that I feel uptight or anxious here; it’s just that at home there are ten things all needing my attention at once (and at least four of them are living, breathing humans,) so even when I do nothing I still can’t say I have nothing to do. I have lots to do—I just ignore it sometimes. Being in Saskatoon and having absolutely nothing to do but hang out with two lovely people I don’t see nearly often enough… well, it’s a different level of relaxation.

(I told them that if they don’t want me darkening their doorway on a monthly basis, they should probably strive to be a bit more unpleasant next time.)

I’ve come back home to the reality that we have a b’nei mitzvah in less than one month. The synagogue is booked and the kids know their Torah readings. We’ve hired a photographer. We’ve almost signed with a caterer. I have no idea what anybody will be wearing, and we haven’t ordered kippot yet. Not to mention that I have a decent grasp on the centerpieces, but they need some tweaking.

I look at some of the online groups for parents organizing a bar/bat mitzvah, and I’m instantly thankful that my kids don’t have a need to “keep up” with what other people are doing. Before K’s bat mitzvah I was astonished to hear that I “needed” a logo. Now I’m seeing posts about swag and giveaways, and I feel… well, maybe I shouldn’t say it. I don’t want to make other people feel like I’m judging their choices for B’Mitzvah celebrations (because I’m not—you do you, and all that,) but that stuff feels superfluous to me. I’m glad my kids don’t want it. In fact, I asked R what she wanted to wear for her Bat Mitzvah and got, “What I wear doesn’t matter. What I care about is that I learn my Torah portion and can do it without messing up!” Both kids have also refused to weigh in on kippah colours and centerpieces.

In the end, I think everyone knows deep down that it’s not about the party… but we still need to wear something. Times like this I kind of wish I actually liked clothes shopping.