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Day 329: Unappreciated

You know how sometimes you work really hard on something for the kids and their response is kind of “meh”?

Inspired by their interest in Hannukah, I decided to do an activity to gauge where they were on their understanding of Purim (which is around three weeks away.) So I came up with fake text conversations between the various characters, printed them on cards as screen captures, and then handed the kids the cards. “Read them and put them in order,” I said.

They did. They were mostly right, actually. And I did get some of the surprised, “Really? They never taught us that in school!” comments that I really enjoy hearing. But by and large, they were underwhelmed.

So here I am, sharing these with you, because I figure at least some of you will appreciate them. Feel free to print the images and use them in your homeschool or classes or whatever, but if you do that please comment to tell me that you did, and how it went. I’d really enjoy hearing it.

In the meantime, here’s my Purim slideshow of screenshots. Enjoy!

For those with visual impairments or otherwise needing a description:

Slide 1 messages:
Achashverosh: Hey guys, week-long party at my place!
Second King: Yo, last party was off the hook!
Third King: I know, right? The wine just kept flowing!
Second King: If you haven’t been before, you’re in for a treat. Achi’s crib is amazing!

Slide 2 messages:
Achashverosh: Vashti, baby! Come dance for meeeee!
Vashti: You’re drunk, aren’t you?
Achashverosh: Maybe a little. Wear whatever.
Achashverosh: Actually, don’t bother wearing anything! You’ve got a gorgeous body! The other guys will be so jealous!
Vashti: No way. I have some self-respect, you know.
Achashverosh: FINE. Then get the hell out of my kingdom! You’re FIRED!

Slide 3 is a screenshot of an emergency alert that reads:
The King is Queenless. Repeat, QUEENLESS. All marriageable ladies are hereby ordered to report to the palace harem IMMEDIATELY. Bring your bikini for the swimsuit competition.

Slide 4 text messages:
Mordechai: Esti, I just heard two servants plotting to kill the king! You have to tell him!
Esther: OMG!
Esther: OK, just told him. He’s got investigators looking into it.
Esther: He’s having them killed.
Mordechai: PHEW!
Esther: He says thanks, BTW. You’re totally in his good book now.

Slide 5 text messages:
Haman: Zeresh, sweetie! I got promoted! The King chose me as his right hand man!
Zeresh: I’m so proud of you! Now we can buy that villa we’ve always wanted!
Haman: Ugh, this one guy won’t bow to me. Some garbage about how Jews only bow to their god.
Haman: I hate him. Know what? I hate Jews. I wish they were all gone.

Slide 6 text messages:
Haman: Majesty, have you heard of these “Jews”?
Achashverosh: IDK, maybe?
Haman: They don’t obey the law. They won’t bow down to me.
Haman: *you
Haman: Stupid autocorrect.
Haman: I’d like to eliminate them. You cool with that?
Achashverosh: Sure. I’ll text you my authorization codes.

Slide 7 text messages:
Achashverosh: Guys, I can’t sleep.
Night Guards: Want some Melatonin?
Achashverosh: Nah, maybe some light reading.
Guards: we’ll bring you your good book.
Achashverosh: And some hot cocoa. Also cookies.

Slide 8 text messages:
Achashverosh: Hey, what do we do for a man who’s done me a solid?
Haman: Well, your majesty, we could dress me up fancy and parade me through the streets on your best teed while proclaiming my good deeds to all.
Haman: *him and his, not me and my. Autocorrect sucks.
Achashverosh: OK, let’s do that for Mordechai. Turns out he saved my life a while back.
Haman: Yes, sir.

Slide 9 is an emergency alert which reads:
For ALL provinces:
The King has declared that Jews must be destroyed. All those faithful to the king must eliminate the Jews—all men, women, and children—by any means necessary. This order goes into effect on the thirteenth of Adar. (Once you’ve killed them, you can go ahead and take their stuff. You’ve earned it.)

Slide 10 text messages:
Mordechai: Esti! Do something!
Esther: About what?
Mordechai: Didn’t you see the Emergency Alert this morning? The King has ordered all Jews to be killed! You have to stop this!
Esther: OMG I turned it off without reading it. I hate those stupid alerts. I’ll talk to the king.
Mordechai: Thx. KUP.

Slide 11 text messages:
Esther: I’d like to have you both over to my place for dinner. How’s tonight?
Haman: I’ll be there.
Achashverosh: For you, my queen, anything. See you at 8.

Slide 12 text messages:
Esther: No worries, Uncle Mordy! I told the king. You should’ve seen Haman’s face!
Mordechai: What did the king say?
Esther: He’s going to have Haman killed…the same way that Haman had planned to kill YOU!
Mordechai: Ah, the irony. But isn’t there still a decree against us?
Esther: Oh, crap.

Slide 13 emergency alert that reads:
For ALL provinces:
All JEWS are hereby permitted to defend themselves against attacks on Adar 13 by any means necessary, with no legal repercussions. 
They can also legally plunder their attackers’ belongings. 

Slide 14 looks like a news widget with four headlines:
Shushan’s Jews kill 500, including Haman’s sons
Kingdom’s Jews kill many in self-defense, but won’t pillage
Mordechai promoted to high office for service to the kingdom
“They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat”: everything you need to know about the new holiday.

2 thoughts on “Day 329: Unappreciated

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