With this week’s fibro flare came a realization: I’m not very good at doing nothing.
“You should take some time off and rest. Do nothing,” Mr. December said. “You don’t have to work all the time.”
“And do what, exactly?” I countered.
“I dunno, watch TV?”
That’s how I ended up binge-watching Bridgerton. And then I started watching Derry Girls. It started to feel less ridiculously decadent after a while, but then it got… kind of boring. It reminded me of when I was just freshly concussed and couldn’t read or watch TV… or sit up for long, or follow a conversation. Most boring recovery ever.
I’ve known this about myself for a while now: eight (or so) years ago I went to Barbados for a month with my mum and three kids… and a sewing machine and a suitcase full of quilting supplies. I have to have something to do with my hands and mind, and there are only so many books I can read (back then my brain maxed out at 10 books a month, even with time for more.)
That’s why right now, spare time feels a bit torturous. My everything hurts, which means I can’t use my hands to play viola or guitar; I also can’t really sew for long stretches of time, or use my power tools. I feel like the guy in that Twilight Zone episode whose reading glasses have just broken when he has all the time in the world: “There was time!!!!!”
I did try recording a song parody I wrote about our homeschooling schedule challenges. After six takes I got one I really liked; then I realized that the sound quality was awful. Mr. December thinks I should get myself a good microphone. I don’t even know what makes a microphone good. But it’s a good parody, I think, and I want to make a music video out of it (I’m sure that could be a homeschool project for the kids, right? Video editing?), so I’ll probably end up looking for a mic tomorrow.
See? I’m supposed to be doing nothing (okay, resting) and instead I’ve recorded a song. I’m no good at this. Maybe I should try practicing some more tonight.