Yesterday the kids decided they needed a “complaint box” so they could bring problems to our attention.
“Sure,” we said, “go ahead and make one.”
Someone found an old wooden cigar box and gave it a place of honour on top of our games shelf. Then the kids spent quite a bit of time writing their complaints and suggestions. I imagine many homeschool parents would view this as great: the kids were using their writing and language skills to try to get something they want. For me it was great in another way—reading the notes was a highly entertaining way to spend some of the evening yesterday. It also gave me some great material for tonight’s blog post.
So without further ado, I’m pleased to present our first batch of “suggestions” and our responses to them.
Comment #1:
Do i have to do my work? If i get one wrong i’ll… I don’t know what i will do but you will pay!!!
– your daught your friend, R.S.B.
Response:
On behalf of the BFHS, we would like to thank you for your input. We take all input seriously as we strive to continue to make the BFHS the best homeschool in the city. As your comments relate to finance and payment, we have forwarded your notes to that department. Please see their reply below:
Thank you for bringing this issue to our attention. Here at BFHS we recognize the importance of paying our vendors and staff promptly. If we have missed a payment of some sort, please forward a copy of the original invoice to our Finance department and we will pay immediately, as per your request.
If you are not satisfied with this response, please feel free to submit more details to the secondary suggestion/complaints box. This is a container in the kitchen, just to the right of the main sink, at the front of the bottom drawer.
Sincerely,
BFHS Staff
Comment #2:
Math is hard! and it hurts my hand!
Response:
At BFHS we take all physical ailments seriously. You need not work yourself to the point of pain: as of tomorrow, our Special Needs office will appoint a scribe for all your written work. You can also expect to be contacted regarding a program of occupational therapy for your poor pencil grasp.
As to your other concern, math can indeed be hard. We stand firm in our assertion that our students are capable of doing hard things. In that spirit… suck it up, buttercup.
Comment #3:
I don’t want to do LoF: Apples for treats! I Just want treats!!!
signed your baby chiken, E
Response:
We agree that you should not be doing LoF: Apples for treats. However, until your intrinsic motivation kicks in, we are at an impasse. If you would like to further explore how to develop your self-motivation, please contact our Guidance department. If not, we will continue our current program of bribes. Thank you for sharing your concerns. Have a great day.
Comment #4:
I can’t focus
-N
Response:
This issue has been noted in your file numerous times. We will forward your concern to the Special Education team, who will doubtless explain to you—for the nth time this month—the positive impact Ritalin can have on your ability to work. Say yes to drugs, kids.
Comment #5:
I can’t do my stupid work
Response:
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. After consulting with your teachers we can confidently say that you haven’t done your non-stupid work, either. Therefore we conclude that it’s a you problem, not an us problem.
Comment #6:
Less work Late
(like when we watch the thing we didint watch last time)
Response:
That’s not even a complete sentence!!!! Uh, I mean…
We appreciate your taking the time to write. In future, we encourage you to take a bit more time to edit, too. As your suggestion lacks detail we regrettably cannot address the incident you mentioned. We will, however, address your difficulties with capitalization and punctuation by assigning extra grammar work until your writing improves.
Comment #7:
can i skip the last quistion on the heat page
R
Response:
No. Just… no.
sweet & crunchy 
I love this idea 🙂 And you responses are hilarious!
FABULOUS management responses. Classic.