education · mental health · parenting · whine and cheese

Day 66: Signal flare

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fibro-flare.
Fibro-flare wh- oh, crap.

Yeah. Crap.

My body hurts and my brain is mush. Regrettably, I’m not in any shape to write something witty today. You’ll have to make do with my rambling.

#SorryNotSorry #ItsMyBlogAndIllWhineIfIWantTo #FibromyalgiaSucks

We restarted our weekly responsibility charts for the kids this week. We had abandoned them in January when E had pneumonia and I had zero bandwidth for printing, posting, changing, and checking these lists. It has become clear that we need it, though. So… here we go again.

IMG_3880

This morning two kids discovered that they couldn’t log into the family computer. Then they learned that it was because they didn’t complete their dinnertime jobs last night. Want to guess how many kids did their jobs today? That’s right, all four.

I’ve decided that I’m tired of accepting excuses. “This work is TOO HARD!” one kid screamed before bursting into noisy tears.  “This question MAKES NO SENSE!” shouted another. I think I spent about an hour today being yelled at. Tomorrow I’m just going to walk out if they start yelling at me, but today I stayed mostly calm and delivered the following lines ad nauseam:

“You can do hard things.”

” ‘This is stupid’ sounds like code for ‘this work is hard.’ ”

“I don’t care if you hate it. That’s the assignment. Do it.”

“I know you don’t feel well. Unfortunately when you have chronic symptoms like seasonal allergies, all the empathy in the world won’t get you out of doing your work.”

Okay, that last one was for myself as much as it was for R. When the kids were in school, I would have heeded this fibro-flare’s warning and gone back to bed to rest. This time? Not so much. And by 4:00 I was really feeling the cumulative toll of full-body pain, screaming kids, and the low-level depression that is my constant companion these days. To put it bluntly, I was done.

Dinner made me feel better. Not the food (although that was good too,) but the fact that everyone ate at least some vegetables; the fact that N ate chicken (a nice change from his all-carb diet) and K loved the salad; and the fact that we were all sitting down to dinner and having a conversation that started with karma and led to a discussion of monotheism, polytheism, and the various ways that we as humans try to make the world seem fair. You know — everyday, run-of-the-mill dinner table conversation.

Somehow it’s almost 10 p.m. I’m going to bed now, in the hope that my fibromyalgia un-flares magically overnight. If it does, and I’m successful at taming the craft supplies, you might get a tour of our Makery tomorrow. Otherwise you’ll be subjected to more of my inane rambling. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

One thought on “Day 66: Signal flare

  1. Thank you ever so much for writing even in the face of the flare up. That must be so hard to do. Charts and consequences and reminders that we can refuse to be receptacles for our children’s verbal frustrations … all so important for everyone to be reminded about and to learn and relearn all our lives.
    Sending you much appreciation and hopes that the flare quit and left you completely.
    My sky is blue and the temperature moderate. Hope yours is also.

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