Just the two of us · Kids · parenting · waxing philosophical

Day 63: A real-life folktale in reverse

K has essentially been an only child for a week now. I’ve learned a few things in that time:

  1. It’s way easier to be what our society deems a “good parent” with only one child.
  2. I still enjoy spending time alone with Mr. December.
  3. I’m in agreement with Mr. December when he says, “I don’t listen to complaints from people with fewer than 2 children.”

Mr. December and I have always been thankful for the love and support our parents lavish on us (hopefully they know how thankful.) They truly go above and beyond. This past week, the grandparents decided that since we’d all been isolating in our own homes for 7 weeks already, it would be okay to have the grandchildren visit them. If they, being in a high-risk age group, were okay with the potential risk, we were too.

(Disclaimer: just because we did it doesn’t mean you should too. Your decision on if, when, and how to see relatives should be based on your personal circumstances and not on the actions of some blogger you just encountered last week. No, not even if that blogger is absolutely brilliant and someone you wish you could be friends with, which you totally can – just drop me a comment.)

So off they went: N and R to my in-laws, and E to my parents. It was a very quiet, relaxed week during which we all got as much sleep as our bodies needed. There was no arguing (although there was still yelling — we have an adolescent in the house, after all) and everyone ate the food that was served.

Tonight they started coming back. E is asleep in her bed. When she came in this evening the noise level went up significantly, but there was still a decided lack of sibling-on-sibling aggression. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about R and N coming back tomorrow.

You know that folk tale where the farmer’s family can’t stand their home because it’s too cramped, and the rabbi tells them to go home and bring all their livestock into the house so that when they take it out again, the house will feel quiet and spacious? I feel like I’m living that tale in reverse. We gradually removed kids from our house until it was quiet, and now we’re adding them back in all at once.

Will I be overwhelmed? Will it be wonderful? I used to love it when my house was full of people — the more the merrier, I always said — and then I got used to it just being the six of us, and then just three of us. Could these past eight weeks have possibly changed how I feel about a busy household? I hope not.

Only 15 hours before I have four kids again. In the meantime, I’ll be downstairs tidying up the Makery so you can actually see the floor and the workbench when I give you the tour.

2 thoughts on “Day 63: A real-life folktale in reverse

  1. THANK YOU.
    THAT YOU SAID EVERY HOUSEHOLD IS DIFFERENT was so very important. That each household’s specific situation and location was considered in the plan was key. There are locations where this can work. There are individuals/households for whom it is low risk personally. ALSO, you said that returning is also change; an important reminder of the reality of people and groups. Transitions even under the best of circumstances are still change.
    I am glad everyone in 3 generations had a time of change. iI was lovely to hear about. I hope so much your locations and households will allow repeats in the future. I hope also that circumstances will make that possible in the locations/circumstances where my family lives. But it wouldn’t be safe now.
    Stay safe and be careful.
    THANK YOU.

  2. “No, not even if that blogger is absolutely brilliant and someone you wish you could be friends with, which you totally can – just drop me a comment.”

    Blogger, I laughed out loud.

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