Archive for December 21st, 2011

December 21, 2011

Work-in-Progress Wednesday – Hanukkah edition

by Decemberbaby

Hmm, I hit *publish* on that last post a bit too soon. Please excuse the grammatical inconsistencies. I know I should have kept the story in either the present tense or the past. I’d edit it, but I hate doing edits because then my blog followers get another email saying that there has been an update, and I don’t want to annoy anyone with too many updates. You can see the bind I’m in.

All that aside, it’s time to see how I’m doing with my projects.

Still in progress: party giveaways

I found multipack flashlights at the big-box home improvement store – 8 for $12. I can live with that. I also bought some alphabet stickers (not from that store) so that the kids can personalize their flashlights.

I’ve bought some ingredients for the s’mores packets, but I’d still prefer a small, individually-wrapped chocolate bar to some chocolate chips, so I can’t say that this project is done. It will be complete by next week, though, seeing as the party is a week from tomorrow!

Still in progress: get everyone healthy

I still have a cough, exacerbated by the fact that R doesn’t let me sleep much. N’s cough is still there, but slowly getting better. K’s nose is runny and she’s in a foul mood. R’s cough sounds dry now, which I think is a good development. Mr. December is as healthy as a horse. My commitment this week is to take bedtime very, very seriously so that the kids can get enough rest to get well. It’s difficult because it’s hannukah and we want them to be awake to light candles together with us, but it’s for the greater good.

In progress: scavenger hunt objects

This week I’m going to take K for a walk on the nearby nature trail. We need to pick up some pinecones and sticks to hide around the house for the scavenger hunt.

That’s a wrap. Anybody else doing something this week?

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December 21, 2011

It’s not about obedience… but it kind of is.

by Decemberbaby

Several years ago, I was having a discussion with our aunt about discipline in childrearing, and pointed out that raising children isn’t all about obedience. I claimed that it was about raising a human being who can function well in the world and improve his or her community.

Now that we’re some major oppositional behaviour from K, I’m starting to think that a little obedience might be nice. I’m tired of everything being a struggle, of having to repeat myself many times, of giving consequences that will result in more opposition.

Example: K and I have discussed the danger inherent in pouring water onto the bathroom floor. She has even experienced the consequences of the slippery floor herself. And yet, she began pouring water from her bath onto the floor, using the tub toys.

I dealt a consequence: No tub toys for the next week of baths.

K acted to demonstrate her defiance by spitting water onto the floor from her bath. I informed her that clearly she can’t handle the responsibility of a bath right now, so she’ll take showers for a little while and then she can try baths again in a week.

When the time for the first shower comes, K cries, screams, and refuses to get in. At first, I patiently offer her sunglasses so that she won’t get water and soap in her eyes. She refuses and continues screaming. I’m at a loss. I ask nicely. I remind her that showers are quick and she’ll soon be done. I ask her to make eye contact with me and explain why she won’t shower. “Well…” she starts (and it sounds like “way-ull”) “… um, I don’t want to shower because, well… um…”

I point out to her that if she wastes her time arguing, she’ll still have to take a shower later and it will encroach on her time to play with daddy. I say, “I need to go make dinner. You let me know when you’re ready to shower. Take as long as you want, but remember that you may only play with daddy when you have showered.” I leave the room. She follows me, screeching like a banshee and then saying, “I’m trying to scare you!” I’m torn between her need to be taken seriously and my need to say, “keep trying.”

Eventually Mr. December comes home. He needs to shower and head out to a volunteer meeting. K finally agrees to hop into the shower with him, as long as she doesn’t have to wash her hair. “I’m afraid of getting water in my eyes,” she moaned pitifully. He turned to me and asked, “Do we have some goggles?” As if I hadn’t offered her goggles in the first five minutes of this whole debacle.

And so it goes. I see so many things wrong with this situation, but I’m really not sure how to fix it. I’m turning to you, my intrepid readers. What would you do? What problems to you see in this situation? Do you have a suggestion?

 

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